Monday, February 25, 2008

"What about your friends? Are they gonna stand their ground? Are they gonna let you down?"

I am the type of person who does not need to have a huge group of people who I call friends just for popularity reasons, I have never been that way. This is not because I am not sociable and don't attract potential friends, it is actually quite the opposite, it is rather by choice. The few good friends I have, are like family to me; we have been though thick and thin, we laugh, we cry, we give advice, and the occasional loan lol. So that is why when I meet a new person, who wants to automatically cling to me and say we are bosom buddies, it makes me a little skeptical. To me, and this is my motto in any type of true relationship, whether it be your lover, friend, or family member, "you have to surrender the me for the we." I read that quote once and have sited it ever since, because I believe it is so true. If you want your relationship to work you have to be unselfish and think about the other persons feeling and needs as well. If you want to call yourself my friend, then I should not be the only one who is doing all the giving in the relationship. I know some people who want you to be there for them when they are going through a crisis, you must hang out where and when they want, and be there for them at the drop of a hat, but when it is time to return the favor, they go AWOL or deaf, dumb, and blind. These are what I call "friends when it is convenient", or "seasonal friends" who change so often. I would rather refer to these people as associates, but these are the folks who seem to insist that you are friends. However when the test of true friendship comes along, they never seem to pass. When a minor meaningless tiff occurs in the relationship, and that person then considers you a mortal enemy; it was never a real friendship to begin with. With a real friend, the minor disagreements, are overcome eventually. One personal example I had was when one of my best friends and I were still teenagers, and we had an altercation that involved some other friends, and the usual teenage-girl drama, we went almost a month without speaking although we missed each other (as was secretly confided by our mother's reports lol). Eventually I decided to be the bigger person and initiate conversation again, because I loved her like family and really valued her friendship. We have been even more close ever since. That's my definition of real friendship: Loyalty, Understanding, Respect, and the willingness to always make it work even though the rocky moments. What's yours?

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