Tuesday, August 21, 2007
I missed my appointment with the representative from the financial services company that my cousin wanted me to get into, and I have yet to reschedule an appointment because I am not sure if I am willing to commit myself to that endeavour. Right now I keep telling myself I am willing to try any business schemes to get out of debt, but then my heart tells me to hold out for what truly makes me happy. Even if I earn enough money and become "well off", ultimately my goal is still to go back to school and finish what I started. I would like to finish my degree in foreign language and architectural design, as well as become a certified Cardiovascular Technologist. Some associates of mine told me I had to pick one thing, but I don't feel as though I have to, I have been good at juggling more than one thing for the past few years and I want to learn about the things that interest me and not limit myself. If I were to get out of debt now and have enough money to not have to worry about working for awhile, I would still go back to school, because gaining the knowledge I need to do the things I love is what will fulfill me more than just having money. If I were in a better financial state, I could then volunteer my services to good causes, such as designing buildings for non-profit charitable organizations for free, and volunteering at the hospital when I could as a CVT. Even though I feel like I am desperate for some sort of financial relief right now, I still can't bring myself to do absolutely anything, I have to feel right about what I am doing. That's why one of the things I am doing is trying to launch my designs for my bags, that I have been putting off for a few years. I have come to realize that while some people may find instant quick success or a get-rich-quick program that actually works for them, the majority of aspiring entrepreneurs, have a long and tough battle to fight in order to be successful. I am experiencing this as I am trying to juggle keeping my regular crappy job at Wally World, and find time to produce my bags while also trying to find inexpensive ways to gain exposure and marketing. I feel like giving up some days, but as I said before, if I don't try, then I guarantee my failure, so I keep drudging on and praying for the day when I can experience success.