Monday, August 13, 2007

There are many roads, but which one will put me on the right path???

It has been quite a few days since my last post, because I have been so busy. A few days ago I was pondering how I would make that week's bills; my car payment, storage bill and my share of the rent. I felt so stressed, but I kept telling myself to be patient and keep pushing forward and things would work out; GOD willing. I begin to throw myself into the labor of preparing my bags for construction, I have spent days cutting out different parts and adding decorative hardware etc. I still have some more to go, but hopefully I should be ready for construction by the end of the week. During the past few days I received a call from an old co-worker of mine, she had just been made manager at the store she was transferred to, and she wanted me to come back and be her assistant manager. Initially I said that this was out of the question, for many reasons, one of them being that I had trained her when she first started at the company and usually something like that would not be any big issue to me, but after the way I was shorthanded by the company, I chose not to help them out. Also the store location was in another city and I would have to commute for little pay and the same headache. So do to those and many other reasons I told her I did not want to take the job. For a moment I begin to regret and wonder if I had made the right decision. Because bills were getting overwhelming and I started to seriously consider returning to the company, although I vowed I would never go back there on a regular basis, once I escaped. When I made the decision to go to work at the Post Office and keep my job at Wally World overnight, while finally leaving the fabric store, I felt so free. Up until that point I was stuck in a rut where I had to work to live, but I still wasn't living, I would work and work and it still wasn't enough to handle bills. I wanted to find another job and go back to school, but I did not have the time, because I was working. I could not stop working or take many days off because I did not get paid much and to do so would mean I would not have enough to cover my bills. So I kept on for a few years like that, wondering when I would be released from that prison. My turning point came when I saw an ad in the paper for the United States Postal Service which usually one will only find that type of ad about once every 2 to 3 years (or at least it seems that way). I had wanted to try to get a job there anyway, but this was like a sign. I called and much to my disappointment it was just one of those companies selling the test for a small fortune. I found out later that usually when you see these ads in the paper that is usually the case, but also even though they are just trying to sell you something they usually do not put the ads out until the post office is in need of some people. So while the ad does not get you a interview, or allow you to speak with anyone in the postal service directly, they do give you a clue when to start trying to get in contact with USPS and take the tests etc. As you may have guessed the Post Office is not an easy organization to get into, especially for civilians and they usually do not advertise; when they do, it's usually through word of mouth, or you can go inside the stations and maybe find a flyer conservatively placed somewhere. That was the case for me, after paying the money to buy the study guide, I was a little disappointed when I called the main station in our area, and the woman very rudely told me that they were not giving interviews or scheduling people to take tests, and that they could only take my name and maybe they would give me a call. Days past and I had not heard anything, while I was running an errand for my other job, I found hidden on a bulletin board, back behind the counter in the Post Office, a flyer advertising for "Casual Employees" I thought how could this be when I was told they were not hiring? I thought I might have another shot, so I came back the next day and asked for an application, the woman told me that they did not have any applications, and that I would have to go to the personnel office, which was more than just a bus ride away (at the time I did not have my car). I was once again feeling discouraged when I bumped into a frequent customer of mine who was very fond of me. I thought this must be fate, because while I knew this lady worked at this Post Office, during my many times of running over there for work-related stuff, I had yet to see her there (we would always see each other at my job). She asked me what I was doing there, and I told her I was trying to get an application but had been told there were none. She pulled me in the back and told me exactly where to go, how to get there, and who to ask for, moreover one of her co-workers who she introduced me to, told me he was friends with the lady in personnel, and he told me to mention his name and maybe that might help as well. So I got an application, and did all the things they told me to. At first I did not hear anything for days and then weeks and I figured that I had probably not been considered and just gave up the idea. I took an extra job (which is my current job now) working overnights stocking at Wally World. It took 3 months before I was called for an interview, and there were a bunch of other people there as well and they told us they only had 10 available "casual" positions. I was almost ready to leave then before even being called to the office, but I said to myself, " I haven't made it this far to not at least try, and if I don't do something now I will never be able to leave the other place." So after hitting it off pretty well with the interviewer, I thought I might have a chance. A week later I was called back to do physical tests and another interview, and pretty soon I found out I had the job as a Casual Carrier employee, which differs from what they refer to as a Career Employee (I will explain that one some other time). Once I decided to quit my other job as an assistant manager at the fabric store and pursue the USPS, I made the decision to never let myself deal with any company's torment. I told myself that if something is absolutely not going to work out for me I will not take it anymore; I was determined not to stay tied to a place that was mentally and physically stressing me, without trying to push forward and find something better, and that is why I ended up leaving the USPS a few months later. I realize now that I was not meant to be there long anyway, it was just a stepping stone to catapult me out the door of the other job, and finally move forward. Which brings me to my dilemma that I have right now. As I stated before these past few days were a little stressful, because I was trying to figure out how to get some bills paid, so I decided to try and get another job and I put in a few applications with some different companies. The same day I received an email from my cousin who is a representative for a financial services company, she has been trying to tell me to go into the program and training and become a representative and by doing so I would have the opportunity to work for myself. Well as fate would have it the other day my parents told me that they had a meeting with some guy who worked for an insurance company and he was going to talk to them about going into business for themselves, but they were not sure if they wanted to attend. It sounded a bit familiar, so I asked what the name of the company was and much to my surprise it was the same company that my cousin works for. Again to my surprise one of the companies, that I put an application in with called and left a message for me to call them back, then I met with the guy briefly from the financial services company who wants me to come to a meeting tomorrow, and I have made good progress on my bags. So I am left wondering now which path do I take, or do I try to once again juggle more than one thing at a time? Will it be possible to do one thing if I pursue the other thing?....I don't know what, if any good will come out of anything yet, I will just pray to make the right decision. In retrospect, leaving the fabric store was good for me and when I think about it, I know I should not go back, because leaving has forced me to press forward in being more financially independent and try to really get my business started. While it is very hard and I am not yet able to let Wally World go because that is my only source of income, I am more able to take care of errands and tasks during the day (well some days) that I could not before. It is all very tiring but I hope that it will soon payoff. I must keep pursuing my goals even if I never reach them, for if I never try, my unhappiness is assured, but if I make a strong effort who knows where that might lead, and at the end of the day I can live with the satisfaction of knowing that I tried my best.....

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