Wednesday, July 25, 2007

How did I get to this point?

Just finished another fun-filled overnight shift at my temporary dead-end job at Wally World where we were even more overworked then usual, and as I came home exhausted I couldn't help but ponder HOW DID I END UP HERE??? During my childhood people always thought I would become very successful. In grade school I was valedictorian and was voted most likely to succeed. I had the opportunity to go to gifted after school programs and was even invited to attend a gifted junior high. Circumstances however, landed me a brief stint in a private little charter junior high that some people that my parents knew were running. After that it was decided that I would be home schooled (this was before homeschooling had gained any real popularity) for the remainder of my time. My homeschooling life was not as structured as it should have been, although now I must say many parents who choose to home school now, are much more diligent about it now then back then. After a while I decided that I wanted to start my college life early and I begged my mom to let me get special permission to get a waiver from the school board to take the G.E.D. test a year early so that I could start college later that fall. Everything went as planned I passed the test, and was enrolled in a community college. I also started a job at the campus library and everything seemed to be working out. One day I decided though that I could not live with the 200 dollar a month stipend that my work-study job was providing and I decided to look for another job. I found one working at a fabric shop, which was ok with me because I loved sewing and design. I found however that the more I worked the less eligible I became for financial aid, until one day I was no longer eligible for Pell Grants! I couldn't believe it the government thought I was making too much money with my mere $6.00 an hour. My only choice now was solely loans, and because I had taken out a couple of student loans earlier, I decided I did not want any further debt. This was over the course of a few years where I changed majors and schools and had accumulated some other debt. Now I was stuck, and I made the decision to sit out of school until I could afford to save up and go back. Only problem was that job that I had started back when I was a freshman and had been loyal to for many years, was still paying me horribly. I had some bosses who blocked me from being promoted, one boss didn't like me personally, but knew I was an excellent worker, so she had no reason to fire me. The next boss knew I was a good worker and when another manager from a sister store offered to promote me to his management team, my boss told him that I was not interested because I was in school. I was not suppose to hear this conversation, however I was not sure if I had actually heard right so I never confronted her about it; I found out the truth from the other manager later as he was leaving the company. I was upset for awhile. Eventually though I worked my way up to Assistant Manager at my store. I was my bosses right-hand. But I was very unhappy because the pay was still bad and we were so overworked and underpaid, I still could not afford to go back to school, I wasn't doing what I wanted to do, and I felt like my job was not making a significant impact on others. I felt as though not only did it not benefit me, but I was not in a position to help anyone else. I eventually started working 2 jobs; one full-time, one part-time and I still had trouble making ends meet. Then I started working at Wally World fulltime overnight and was working fulltime during the day as Assistant Manager at my other job. Still was not enough to cover bills and things, I thought to myself this is ridiculous! I applied at the USPS and after a couple of months was hired as a casual worker. I was making the most money (still not a fortune or anything) that I had been making in my life. I was a carrier and it was hard work, also I was still working overnights at Wally World because I wanted to have something to fall back on in case things did not work out at the Post Office (and they did not), in addition I had quit my day job and my boss was not too happy about that. The Post Office lasted for a couple of months, but just like any place politics are always involved. I was sent to another station because another carrier at another station had personal issues with her immediate supervisor, so they decided to switch us around;good for her; bad for me. It was considered the slum station in the area, it was out of distance for me, and the supervisor there was a little more hardcore. It was then that I decided that I could not keep being a doormat for employers. I never had time to myself; working two full-time jobs and I was not still getting ahead financially. I decided to leave the USPS. I must state though that I was a casual worker though, and not what they refer to as a career employee, so basically we were doing the same work for less starting pay and no benefits, so it had its drawbacks. However everyone thought I was crazy for leaving. I just think that now I have to take a stand and make sacrifices now so that I might have a chance of getting ahead. Once I attended a business seminar a friend had invited me to, and the speaker said something that I cannot forget, he asked, "why are you working to make someone else dreams come true, why aren't you working to make your dreams come true? When you are working for someone else you are working hard to make more money for them and make their dreams come true." Of course he was trying to sell the product but even still it was a very profound comment. I thought how obvious but yet I never paid attention to that fact. There are some companies that compensate their employees well for making them money and some people are actually happy with working for someone else, but the companies I have dealt with so far have not compensated me well. That is why I am trying to think of and do everything possible to earn legitimate lawful income for myself that can give me financial freedom...., *This was another long post future posts will hopefully be shorter and sweet. This was just to provide a little background info.

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